Snapshots from North Carolina
I promised an account of our time in North Carolina, and then I gave you the second part first. I attribute this irregularity to writer’s block. While the Cades Cove adventure spun itself, I got really stuck with this post. Nevertheless, I managed to pull through, and here they are—snapshots from our time in North Carolina. If you live in the temperate regions yourself, you might be a little bored by the number of leaf pictures here. We of the land of palm-trees were entranced by the brilliant colors, and you must excuse us.
The trip was made to attend the Gospel-Centered Marriage Conference held by the National Center for Family Integrated Churches. We knew we would be going when we saw the list of speakers, which included Paul Washer, Scott Brown, Kevin Swanson, and Doug Phillips. Unlike probably any other marriage conference you’ve heard about, this conference was for entire families to attend. Whether you are married, engaged, or neither—“even someone who’s just heard of marriage,” Papa said—it is important to have a correct doctrinal understanding of marriage and the picture it presents of Christ and his Church. A main point made throughout the conference was that you can’t wait until your child is eighteen before you start talking about marriage. (The list of talks included this intriguing title: “How to Prepare Your Two-Year Old for Marriage.”)
TUESDAY:
“What are we waiting for? Come on, guys!” Third Brother was very eager to get on the road.
This would be our environment for the better part of the week. (We’ve concluded that we live a million miles from anywhere.) We were well-armed, though, with diversions; there were books (The Lantern Bearers for me), music, audio dramas (The Screwtape Letters, A Peep Behind the Scenes, and The Six-Shooter), scripts for the play we were supposed to rehearse (but never did), and plenty of paper and pens.
WEDNESDAY:
On our way north we took time one morning to visit Savannah. We lurched over the historic cobblestones (ballast from ships that came to port here) to the river. We strolled the boardwalk, listening to the waves slap the pilings, and looking at the boats on the water—a gigantic barge, a decorative paddle-boat, and a sailing ship with all the rigging that fascinates us. We stopped to read the many informational boards and war monuments.
We walked down the row of waterfront shops, back to the van. (There is a glimpse of the historic cobblestones to the left. They made for rough driving. Second Brother hit his head twice on the window. Very Hard.)
We arrived at the Ridgecrest conference center that afternoon. After registering at the main desk, we drove up, up, up to the lodge where our room was located. It was huge and contained three bunks, a fold-out sofa, and a queen-sized bed. There was one problem—and the same number of bathrooms. After we had claimed our beds, we worked out a bath rotation. The boys said they would be very happy to forgo them altogether, but that was not an option Mama left open. As for use of the single toilet, it was a mad dash and a long line.
The carpet fumes were a little unsettling, so I was thrilled to discover we had our own back-patio. I stood outside the doorway and enjoyed the crisp air and lovely autumnal scenery. I pulled one of the chairs outside and sat down again with The Lantern Bearers.
This was our view directly out the back door.
The boys were outside as soon as the luggage was settled. They crashed delightedly through the noisy drifts of leaves. They walked down and around the slope, and found an old-fashioned fire-truck parked alongside some construction vehicles. Then they came back up and found some good, stout sticks.
These brothers are best friends, but . . .
. . . Where there are boys and sticks, there will be war.
So they dueled with swords and shot arrows from long bows—for a queen who was too busy reading to realize all that was at stake. (Guess who.)
I love this picture. (Red was to be a popular color that week.)
(Below, L to R: Littlest Sister, Papa, Second Brother, Littlest Brother)
The meal plan was to have our breakfasts and an afternoon snack from the ice-cooler and grocery bags. Every evening we would enjoy a large meal “out.” That first evening we had dinner at the Mexican restaurant Olé Guacamole. The host asked whether we wanted to sit inside or outside. “Well, we’re not used to this weather,” Papa began. The host smiled. “Inside.” A waiter mentioned the fire outside, so we ultimately decided to sit on the patio.
(Below, Clockwise: Papa, Next Sister, myself, Littlest Sister, Third Brother, Littlest Brother, Third Brother, Biggest Brother.)
Those sitting with their backs to the creek, however, were soon chilled through, and came to warm themselves at the open flame while waiting for the meal.
We returned to the lodge bearing tasty leftovers. It became a late night—what with sharing the bathroom and the blow-drier. The next day would be the first of the conference, and Papa’s cell-phone was set to ring early.
THURSDAY:
That morning, I took a bowl of plain yogurt and a Lärabar to the back patio; and while I ate my breakfast I read the last few chapters of The Lantern Bearers. I had to hide some bittersweet tears from my little brothers! (It was a very good book, and I recommend it.)
Next Sister was in a photographer’s reverie. She wandered through the stand of trees and took pictures of the brightly-colored leaves.
She also tried to take my portrait. “Smile. Not that way. Tilt your head up. Look at me. No, look away. Smile bigger.” “That doesn’t look natural,” Littlest Sister remarked, looking over Next Sister’s shoulder. Especially the doorknob coming out the back of my head.
After a trip to a local coffee-shop, we returned to the conference center to get our programs and name tags, and visited the vendor hall. Sermon Audio, Reformation Heritage Books, Chalcedon Foundation, Vision Forum, Western Conservatory—these are just a few of the worthy businesses and ministries whose tables we visited there.
The conference wouldn’t start until that evening, so we headed back into Black Mountain to tour the little shops lining the streets. There were colorful skeins of yarn, hammered dulcimers, fragrant essential oils, colorful jewelry, and artisanal ironwork. Perhaps our favorite place was “Black Mountain Books” on Cherry Street. What a treat it was to browse through the ordered shelves—new paperbacks by Wendell Berry and ancient leather-and-gilt editions of Milton and Tennyson. I pounced on a shelf of Franklin Library editions for only twenty dollars each, and added Robinson Crusoe to my personal library.
(Below, L to R: Third Brother, Littlest Brother, and a chic Next Sister. Mama likes to take pictures of us squinting in the sun.)
We had some time yet before dinner and the start of the conference, so we headed for the Folk Art Center, where we enjoyed viewing a vast array of beautiful (and fabulously expensive) handicrafts—hand-knitted scarves, birch bowls, blown glass, and pinwheel quilts. No photographs were allowed to be taken inside, but we did prevail upon another visitor to take a rare family portrait outdoors.
Our family doesn’t seem so very large, when you’re one of the crowd.
Then we line up. “My goodness! Who are all those people?” Papa wanted to know.
Aren’t these three handsome young men?
(Below, L to R: Third Brother, Littlest Brother, Second Brother)
We had our meal that evening at Our Father’s Pizza and Pasta. There were inside and outside seating arrangements available, but we had learned our lesson last night. We sat inside.
Mama wondered if the restaurant’s name was a Christian reference. “Oh, no,” Next Sister assured her. “Because the t-shirt they’re selling says: ‘The way our father has done it since the 1990s.” I’m sure the entire restaurant was wondering why our family suddenly exploded with laughter. We then proceeded to devour three pizzas.
(Below, L to R: Littlest Brother, myself, Third Brother, and Second Brother. People always tell us siblings that we have the same eyes. I can really see that in this photograph.)
We hurried back to the conference centered and found seats in the quickly-crowding auditorium. There were over 2,200 people in attendance. It was a blessing to see so many other like-minded families! We even recognized and met acquaintances from other conferences and from email groups.
The conference was introduced by Pastor Scott Brown, who delivered the first sermon in a three-part series on Ephesians 5:22-33: “Gospel-Centered Marriages for a Glorious Church.” It is a rich, foundational passage, the longest statement in the New Testament about marriage. Something Pastor Brown said really struck me, and would be a running theme in the conference: We need to restore the Scriptural language of marriage. Words such submit, head, love, give, sanctify, cherish, washing, leaving, cleaving, spots, wrinkles, and one flesh greatly enrich our understanding of the nature and purpose of marriage. “We need to think and speak about marriage with these words,” Pastor Brown exhorted us.
Dr. Joel Beeke was next, and he shared with us the value of “Learning About Marriage from Our Spiritual Fathers.” Drawing on the riches of Puritan literature, Dr. Beeke outlined four purposes, procedures, principles and practices for marriage. This was probably the session that blessed me the most with a greater vision for marriage. The Puritans were so founded on Scripture, and wonderfully practical! I wasn’t surprised when we returned to the vendor hall to find that they had sold all their copies of William Goudge’s tome Of Domesticall Duties. Dr. Beeke had referenced it again and again. “I wouldn’t mind getting that for my birthday, or something,” Papa hinted.
FRIDAY:
The next morning, most of us left to pick up coffee, hot chocolate, and tea for the shivering masses. I stepped onto the back patio to enjoy the icy air, and was soon joined by Mama and Littlest Sister, who dutifully shut the door behind her. Very soon it was too cold for us, and we turned to go back into the heated room. The door-knob, however, would not yield to our desperate wrenches. We were locked out! “We’re going to be dead by the time they get back,” we prophesied grimly, pulling our jackets tighter around us and watching our breath float white on the air. We trudged up the slope through the wet leaves, and, God be praised, the van pulled up just as we walked around to the front. That steaming cup of Ginger Twist tea was wonderful.
The weather forecast was for rain—a quarter inch of it. We snorted rather disdainfully at that. Rain is a lot different in the tropics, let me tell you. This was like a fine mist, and it concealed the mountains surrounding us.
The first session of the day was Pastor Scott with the second part of his series on “Gospel-Centered Marriages for a Glorious Church.” Then came a speaker we had especially looked forward to—Paul Washer. His first talk was “Principles of ‘Courtship.’”
Our afternoon snack didn’t take much of the lunch break, so most of the family took a hike on the Royal George Lookout. They brought back specimens of glittering rock for the rest of us to see.
It looks like they are entering a leafy tunnel here.
(Below: Second Brother)
When the conference reconvened, we listened to a talk by Doug Phillips on “Wedding Ceremonies and Covenants.” He had the audience laughing with his impression of a prim wedding planner with a British accent and an evil cackle. (He was encouraging men to take a part in planning the wedding ceremony, rather than leaving it all to women—especially unrelated ones.) He also encouraged couples to write their own wedding vows, full of the Scriptural language of marriage.
Pastor Kevin Swanson was the next speaker. Pastor Swanson is nothing if not energetic and enthusiastic in his presentations. Soon after he began talking about “Courtship Catastrophe Mitigation,” Third Brother turned to me and whispered, “This guy is really different.” He felt sorry for the camera men, who had to “chase” Pastor Swanson as he rushed up and down the stage—sometimes beyond the camera’s scope. He charged fathers, “If you love God, and if you love his kingdom, you have got to engage His kingdom work in the discipleship of your sons and daughters. Why? For you? No. For your daughters? No. For your sons? No. It is for your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You ought to be willing to lay your life down.”
Pastor Swanson enthusiastically urged the audience to throw away images of sickly Cosmopolitan cover-girls, and “Hang up Vermeer’s Milkmaid in your girl’s rooms. Her arms are like this.”—indicating their robust girth. We all laughed, but he quoted Proverbs 31:17: “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.” Now, there is some healthy body image!
We were dismissed for a dinner break. After some deliberation on the iPhone, we decided on a local German restaurant for our evening meal. We were escorted to the back, where several tables had been joined to accommodate our little crowd. There was polka music playing softly, and we wondered what people would think if we stood up and did a polka in the restaurant. (Fortunately for them, we decided against it.)
We had a round of warm, sweet cider and settled down to peruse the menu. It was a little bewildering. Sauerkraut and bratwurst we knew, thanks to Papa, but we were thankful for the explanations and recommendations of our friendly waitress. I finally decided on schnitzel (pounded, breaded meat garnished with lemon and parsley), served with home-fried potatoes and delicious red cabbage.
(Below: Next Sister ate her dinner beneath the German flag.)
While Papa paid the bill, the little boys posed with a funny little German man at the front desk. When it was time to leave, protective Second Brother tried to herd the statue into our departing family. “How embarrassing,” he shrieked outside the restaurant. “I thought he was one of us!”
(I understood how he felt. All week, as we walked around the conference center, I would catch myself just about to steer a little boy in the “right” direction—only he would turn out not to be one of our little boys.)
We were looking forward to hearing Paul Washer again. His next sermon was “The Center of All Things: The Gospel.” I was so moved by a renewed wonder for God’s love. Washer marveled over it: “This is amazing! He loved his people! And he loved them when they were vile and hated Him. He loved them when his holiness would not even allow him to look upon them. He loved them! He really, really loves you! This is amazing.”
The next day, a friendly young lady introduced herself and asked us which speaker was our favorite. If you know me, you know that I hate the favorite question; but I managed to say that Paul Washer was definitely “one of them.”
SATURDAY:
It was very difficult to realize that we had reached the last day of the conference. We had each been blessed by our time listening to the speakers, exploring Black Mountain, and enjoying some fellowship with others.
That morning we heard Pastor Kevin Swanson again, preaching on “The Dominion Mandate and Marriage.” He was followed by Dan Horn, discussing the Biblical concept of “Equal Yoking.” Most Christians understand that equal yoking involves Christians marrying only Christians; but there are other areas that need to be weighed for compatibility—such as spiritual maturity, personality, beliefs, and practices.
After the lunch break, Doug Phillips gave a talk entitled “How Fathers Qualify Suitors and Receive Daughters.” The boys really enjoyed Mr. Phillip’s stories of his time with his mentor (who was quoted with a thick New Jersey accent). He had the audience laughing with the stories of this godly and protective father of three beautiful daughters. Mr. Phillips told the fathers of the audience, “There are many things you are going to do with your life, but the single most precious gift you will ever give away is your daughter.”
Pastor Brown had the last session with the conclusion of his series on Ephesians 5. He summed up the entire conference with these words: “Until we understand the cross, it’s almost impossible to understand marriage, because at the center of marriage is the cross... Marriage is meant to display the glory and accomplishment of the cross.”
After enjoying the panel discussion that followed, we headed out for dinner at the award-winning Red Rocker Inn. We had an entire dining-room to ourselves, papered with pink toil. We laughed, talked, ate lots of hot biscuits with apple and pumpkin butters, and enjoyed a delicious meal.
We returned to our room, did some packing, and tumbled into bed late. Early next morning we would be heading home, taking Cades Cove, Tennessee, into our route. You can already read the next part (but previous post), which concerns our scenic (and perilous) adventure there.
Friday, November 18, 2011