A Weighty Topic
[The following article was originally published in the September 2011 issue of Maidens of the Master, an e-magazine edited by a young friend from our church. Email me to subscribe.]
Most Christian children are familiar with the sixth commandment, the first with a promise: “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” [Deuteronomy 5:16] Our understanding of the word honor, however, is too often vague and ineffectual. What does it mean to really honor one’s parents?—and how is honor exercised in daily life?
We know that children are to obey their parents in the Lord [Ephesians 6:1], but honor is a much larger word than obey. Submission is part of honor, but not its sum. What is honor, then? Interestingly, the Hebrew word translated honor in the commandment is the verb kābēd [kaw-bade], defined by the Hebrew Lexicon as “to make heavy, make weighty.” It certainly was not the definition I expected to find! It remained unclear to me until I began to flesh out its meaning with the help of Noah Webster’s 1828 American Dictionary. A quick search through its pages yielded this definition of honor: “to revere, to respect, to treat with deference and submission, and perform related duties to.” As I continued to look up words, one concept emerged with special clarity: our parents should have great weight in our consideration. To honor is “to attend to with respect and estimation,” “to value,” “to hold in respect and affection,” “to consider seriously,” “to esteem as possessed of real worth,” “to yield one’s opinion to the judgement or authority of another.”
Does the instruction of your parents have weight with you?—Or do you despise their words as nothing? Do you value their godly counsels as heavy riches?—Or does their advice have the significance of thistle-down? The sixth commandment is negatively expressed in Deuteronomy 17:16: “Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.” [Emphasis is mine.]
So we see that honor begins with an attitude; but attitude will assuredly translate into action. Obedience to direct commands is not the grand total; honor—or dishonor—is often expressed more subtly. Your countenance, your words, the tone of your voice will betray the true posture of your heart. Examine yourself: Do your facial expressions and speech confirm honor or dishonor? When your parents direct or rebuke you, do you respond with gracious obedience and consideration, or with a contemptuous roll of the eyes? The Lord has a dire warning for those who look scornfully on their parents. “The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.” [Proverbs 30:17]
How does one develop an honoring attitude? There is no better advice I can give than to read God’s Word. Saturate yourself in his precepts, and pray that the Holy Spirit would guide you. As you read from Genesis to Revelations, you will gain a better understanding and respect for God’s creation of order, and for his principles for family and discipleship. The Bible will open your eyes to the blessing of parents, and how their godly counsels can protect and enrich our lives. The Book of Proverbs especially is replete with admonitions to heed the instruction of parents. “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be as an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” [Proverbs 1:8-9] (Those “chains,” lest there be any confusion, are not fetters but necklaces!) [See also Proverbs 4:1, 13:1, 23:22] Greatest of all is the example we have in the child Jesus. Christ. God Himself, the Creator and Lord of all the universe, made himself subject to his earthly, imperfect parents. [Luke 2:51-52] Are we, then, above showing honor and submission to our parents?
This little essay is just that—a feeble attempt to express part of what it means to honor. I pray that it has deepened your understanding of God’s commandment. May he bless you as you seek to honor him by your obedience.
Photograph: My parents—their spiritual weight has been a ballast in my life, and I am so grateful to the Lord for them.
Friday, September 30, 2011