GETTING OUR ACT TOGETHER
A sympathetic florist resorts to botanical stratagems in order to rekindle a fading romance. Miss Wells has been engaged to preoccupied businessman Mr. Jackson for fifteen years, but after she starts receiving flowers from a ‘secret admirer,’ she visits the Florist Shop to find out more about him.
Enjoy the following compilation of character photos and production stills from our recent performance, along with selected lines from the 1915 play by Winifred Hawkridge.
First, please have your seating ticket punched and receive your program from Pippin.
Staging was acquired by borrowing household items, salvaging our well-stocked dress-up trunk, and spending what might have been an unprecedented amount at the dollar store for a ‘luxurious bank of flowers.’
Maude: ‘Do you know what them orchids cost? Two dollars apiece!’
Slovsky: ‘You just wait one moment, and I will get our young lady to attend to you.’
Maude: ‘I’d rather woik here than any place I know!’
Maud: ‘Hello! This is Slovsky’s. Yes’m we make a specialty of tasteful offerings.’
Slovsky: ‘A little heart and sentiment is alright for the flower trade. But this is a retail business!’
Henry: ‘Say, Slovsky’s would have to close, wouldn’t it, if it weren’t f’r nuts like him?’
Maud: ‘Henry, there’s a lot of suffering goes on in the homes of the rich.’
Henry: ‘Aw, I’d just as lief suffer.’
Maud: ‘Yes, madam, those violets came from us. No, we did not forgit the card. I understood from the party that the party did not want their name di-vulged.’
Henry: ‘Say, that gink must have money to burn to send flowers and not get the credit for it.’
Miss Wells: ‘I have sent Mr. Jackson a lily at Eastertide ever since we became engaged—fifteen years ago.’
Maud: ‘I’ll tell you this. A man that sends carnations, he usually sticks to carnations. He don’t suddenly switch to orchids.’
Miss Wells: ‘When I was in high-school a boy named Staples sent me a valentine... He was cross-eyed. This—gentleman—did you notice his eyes?’
Maud: ‘The handsomest pair of large, burning brown eyes I ever seen.’
Miss Wells: ‘Burning brown eyes! I—I have never seen exactly that kind of eye.’
Miss Wells: ‘Perhaps—perhaps I had better keep this from Mr. Jackson.’
Maud: ‘I soitenly shouldn’t. The sooner Mr. Jackson knows the better for all concerned.’
Slovsky: ‘Maybe you got them just now?’
Miss Wells: ‘No—they were sent to me.’
Slovsky: ‘A customer, is she? Let me see her account. 1913—One Easter lily. 1914—Another Easter lily. 1915—Another Easter lily! Say, that’s good business—she buys from us annually a seventy-nine-cent Easter lily, and to keep up her valuable trade we sends her a five-dollar spray of orchids. Say, are you gone crazy?’
Maud: ‘Prob’ly.’
Mr. Jackson: ‘I—I happened to be passing, and I thought I’d inquire who’s been sending those flowers she’s been getting.’
Maud: ‘I’m only here to take orders. I don’t ask a person what their motive is for sending flowers. We don’t require a license before we sell them.’
Mr Jackson: ‘An advertising scheme! Did he look like a—a life insurance agent?’
Mr. Jackson: ‘Two dollars a dozen for these?’
Henry: ‘A dozen? Naw, apiece.’
Miss Wells: ‘Mr. Jackson!’
Henry: ‘Here you are then! To meet him I suppose.’
Miss Wells: ‘But when I think of a husband, I can’t imagine anyone but you. I’ve got so used to you, James, these fifteen years.’
Mr. Jackson: ‘And I’ve got used to you. maybe I didn’t seem to appreciate you till he came between us.’
Mr. Jackson: ‘These carnations—are pretty.’
Maud: ‘They are all right of course, but compared to orchids—’
Slovsky: ‘May I ask the occasion?’
Miss Wells: ‘Why—a wedding!’
Slovsky: ‘Did you know about this here wedding when you sent them orchids?’
Maud: ‘I arranged that wedding.’
Slovsky: [to Maud] ‘You are what I always said. An asset to the business.’
[ovation]
You can now watch the entire performance, with subtitles, on my sister’s YouTube channel. Enjoy!
{You can also see photographs and video from our two previous performances: A.A. Milne’s The Ugly Duckling—and HERE—and Shakespeare’s Vignettes—and HERE.}
• photos from the 2013 Patchwork Theater production of The Florist Shop •
November 12, 2013