STEPS ALONG THE WAY
When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.—Wayne Dyer
Learning to dance is learning much more than steps and figures. I know that; I advertise that; but it really came into relief this past semester.
For twelve weeks last season, I taught ten children as young as five years old. As they worked on grace, courtesy, and cooperation, I worked on patience, flexibility, and faith in things not seen.
I was challenged, and was not happy every day with the results I could see. It was enough that this introvert had to be fully ‘on’ for an hour; more draining still was the constant need for coaching and reminders. {Ha. I know. This doesn’t come with the territory. This is the territory.}
All these things I had to say many times:
‘Please get off the floor and join our circle. We have a place right here for you, and we are waiting.’
‘That is not kind to your partner. Hold hands gently. Let me see your mitten hands! Beautiful.’
‘That’s very interesting, but let's talk about it later, when we are not in the middle of learning a dance.’
‘Where is your partner? Yes, I know you want to go faster, but you are partners and that means you stay together. Watch her steps and make yours the same.’
‘Yes, I see that, but since we will not be doing splits in this dance, please stand up and show me your good dancing posture.’
‘This time, hold hands. No, it is not gross, and you are not being respectful to your partner. Everyone will get hand wipes at the end of class.’
‘Oops. I guess we don't get to sashay this time. The music doesn't wait for us! Pay attention.’
‘I know it's fun for you to play London Bridge, but do you see what happened to the dance? Everyone bumped into each other and we had to stop the music. It wasn't fun for everyone.’
‘Your job is to make sure your partner is enjoying the dance. Does she enjoy the dance when you yank her arms?’
I did not end the semester without a sense of satisfaction, but it was also with misgiving about how well I’d taught. I wasn’t bothered that we hadn’t learned all the dances on the syllabus, but I was discouraged that even on the last day I had to remind them of basics like holding hands nicely and not leaving their partner behind.
So it was especially encouraging to hear from one of the parents yesterday. I called her about the upcoming costume dance, but she took time to thank me for the class and share the benefits she’d observed.
‘I know they loved it, and had so much fun. They'd tell me what they'd learned, and I would think, She's doing such a great job teaching this class and putting it all together! It really was more than just learning steps for dances, and I was so pleased about that.’ She told me that her daughters have developed better control and awareness of their bodies. ‘It's like—they’ve just learned to move their bodies better. They also cooperate better with others, and pay more attention to people around them. It’s been great.’
Yay! I love hearing good things from my parents!
As I considered her kind words, and thought again of those things I had told my students over and over†, I realized again that dancing isn’t just executing a perfect figure; really, it’s learning to live life in harmony and shared joy with others.
Did my students always wait to take hands before sashaying down the line? Could they always resist the urge to turn a swing into a game of ‘Crack the Whip’? No, but if they are learning—little by little, just as I am—to respect one another and make efforts for each other’s enjoyment, then they are learning the important things.
It makes all the repetition and doubt worth it, knowing I can have a hand in helping make not just better dancers, but better people—and knowing that I too have this opportunity to become a better person.
†...and as I thought of our CM book discussion, contrasting education that aims at behavior with education that aims at character... That’s the real stuff!
December 1, 2015